Resistance

It is amazing the resistance our minds can come up with. I say our minds instead of minds and bodies for a reason.

I may feel my body resisting but experience tells me that resistance is pretty weak. If I decide I'm going to do something like run a race or take a hard class, my body will complain throughout but it will keep going, won't give up. This is why I've done a 5 km kayak race with almost no training and finished.

My mind on the other hand - and really when I say mind I mean ego. It wants to keep me inside my comfort zone. So anything new or perceived as a threat (i.e. something that might bring me out of my ego) must be resisted.

And this is why some days 5 min into meditation I really want to get up. My personal practices take up some of my day but they are easily fit in. So why do I resist?

I enjoy my practices but they represent change. They represent a desire to explore pieces of myself and embrace my divinity. And part of me finds that really scary. Which leads me to resistance.

The answer for me? To keep persevering. To keep making time. To know with time the resistance becomes less strong. To know this is what I want and move towards it. And when I stumble to pick myself up and keep going.