Changing Things...Slowly

I have a tendency towards rapid change. If I decide I want to do something, I have a tendency to move 100% in that direction, even if it's a 180 degree turn from where I was. Sometimes it works for me, and sometimes it doesn't. Oftentimes, I think the change takes longer to take hold than if I'd done it gradually.

Ayurveda suggests many changes to bring a body, mind and spirit into balance. But it also suggests to take those changes slowly, so as not to add additional stress to the system. I like that idea.

And now the admission: I'm a stomach sleeper. As someone with long-term lower back tightness and pain, I certainly know why NOT to sleep on my stomach. But any attempts to change it haven't been successful. So I decided to take a gentler approach.

Why do I want to sleep on my side? So that I can be plagued with less lower back and neck pain associated with how I sleep. Particularly the neck pain part which I feel like I have very little control over.

So now I start my night on my side (with my side sleeping pillow). I stay there as long as I can (and hopefully at some point I'll fall asleep there). If I don't fall asleep, I move over to my stomach sleeping pillow and go to sleep there. If I wake up during the night, I roll over to the side sleeping pillow and try to fall back asleep there.

So far, I'm still predominantly sleeping on my stomach, but I feel like I am making progress. And my neck isn't bothering me as much which is fantastic! Change, a little at a time.

Week 4 Challenge - I Am Complete

This year I decided to challenge myself to reflect on various Yoga and Buddhist aspects throughout the year. The challenges come from a variety of places including readings in Deborah Adele's Yamas and Niyamas and Thich Nhat Hanh's Heart of the Buddha's Teaching and Happiness.

This week's challenge was to act as if I am complete. That might seem simple to some, but for me I knew it would be interesting. In the past I have struggled with some major self-esteem issues. I've come a long way with them, but they are still kicking around. And the root of all of them stem from not feeling good enough.

One of the things suggested for this week was to not need to be more or less than what I am. I found this challenge permeating my entire week. It was great!

There was a point early in the week when I was tempted to treat one of my students differently than I would treat the rest. I knew this came down to a feeling of needing to accommodate her, needing to change myself to suit the situation. Instead I decided to just be me, act as I would with anyone else, and it went wonderfully.

I often feel awkward when leaving phone messages. I'm not a phone person (much more comfortable with email or text) and voicemail is a one-sided conversation. After leaving an awkward voicemail mid-week, it was very easy to "let it go", rather than dwell, as I reminded myself that I was "just me" on that voicemail and that was all I need to be.

Those are just two examples, but all week I found that it was much easier to let things go, and I felt much more at ease in various situations as I reminded myself that I didn't need to be more or less than me. This gave me a huge boost of confidence throughout the week and I loved it!

My Daily Practices

I consider myself to have a purpose (to share Yoga asana and meditation) and a path (my personal exploration of Yoga and Buddhism). The classes I teach each day are part of my purpose, but I also have several things I do each day as part of my path. They change and shift through time, but here's where they are at right now. These are some of the things that bring joy and peace to my day.

Morning

• Nadi Shodhana (alternate nostril breathing)
• Dharma reading from Heart of the Buddha's Teaching
• 5 Tibetan Rites

Around Noon

• Yin Yoga practice while doing Mindfulness of Breathing meditation
• 3 days a week I also go for a run while listening to my Strength playlist on my iPod

Late Afternoon/Early Evening

• Restorative Yoga practice while doing Mantra Meditation (Guru Ram Das)

Before Bed

• Oracle reading and Journalling
• Nadi Shodhana

Finding Happiness

This is a great article. What are you going to do today to find your happiness?

20 Ways to Find, Sustain and Share Happiness

Week 3 Challenge - Running Interference

This year I decided to challenge myself to reflect on various Yoga and Buddhist aspects throughout the year. The challenges come from a variety of places including readings in Deborah Adele's Yamas and Niyamas and Thich Nhat Hanh's Heart of the Buddha's Teaching and Happiness.

This week was a great challenge. Am I stepping into people lives and managing theirs instead of mine? When am I running interference rather than letting people face their own situations?

I've been aware of this idea (and actively working on it) for a couple of years, but this week I made a point of being even more aware.

Early in the week I was in a meeting and someone was told, very last minute, that they would be running the meeting for the first time. I really wanted to step in and help them run it because I felt awkwardness that perhaps they weren't doing it "correctly". I curbed that urge and they did a fantastic job (and a very different job than I would have done). It felt great to let them be fully empowered and to recognize there is more than one right answer (something I preach all the time in asana and meditation classes).

One of the biggest places this applies for me is at home. I have such a tendency with my mom to "need to be right". Usually I notice after the fact and regret whatever I said. This week I worked on seeing the situation in the moment and letting her find her own way. And it felt great to create less tension within the house.

Of course, there were times I stepped into others lives and didn't realize until after. How did it feel? Not so good. I didn't feel "right", I didn't even feel that I helped. I just felt as if I took away some of their autonomy.

Moving forward, I will continue to focus on living my own life, making my own decisions and letting others do the same.

January Love List

20 things I'm loving right now:

1. The peace and serenity I find in meditation.
2. Running (yes, I'm going down that road again).
3. Banana orange smoothie with homemade yogurt.
4. My mom for agreeing to make the yogurt.
5. Sleeping in.
6. Classes starting up with Parks & Rec again.
7. 5 Tibetan Rites.
8. Club soda with lemon.
9. Refrigerator pickles.
10. The 8th season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (comic book).
11. My cat for crawling into bed with me this morning.
12. This banana bread.
13. Plans with friends this week/weekend.
14. My weekly contemplations (Week 1, Week 2).
15. Mashed butternut squash.
16. The look of the snow outside (I'd rather it not be here, but I do think it looks pretty).
17. Baked spaghetti sauce.
18. The Ayurveda course I'm taking.
19. A good balance of teaching and contract work.
20. Eating mostly healthy, mostly unprocessed foods.

Yoga - all over the news!

If you are a fellow Yoga blogger, you already have been down this road. But if my blog is the only Yoga blog you follow, you may not have heard of the controversy of late.

The short story: The NY Times wrote an article called "How Yoga Can Wreck Your Body". I'm not going to write a response to that article, because many others have done it much more eloquently.

The original article: How Yoga Can Wreck Your Body
From Ashtanga Yoga New York: How the NYT Can Wreck Yoga
From The Everything Yoga Blog: Injury: Your Wake Up Call
From Take It Easy Yoga: Response to NY Times Article
From Yoga Spy: Tell Me About Pain, Yours, And I Will Tell You Mine

Week 2 Challenge - Finding My Balance

This year I decided to challenge myself to reflect on various Yoga and Buddhist aspects throughout the year. The challenges come from a variety of places including readings in Deborah Adele's Yamas and Niyamas and Thich Nhat Hanh's Heart of the Buddha's Teaching and Happiness.

This weeks challenge was to look for balance. To ask my body what it wanted and honor that request.

Early in the week I found myself craving junk food. I had myself almost convinced that I should have some junk food. Then I asked my body what it wanted and the answer was the same healthy food I've been eating. So that's what I had.

One night, my mom and I were watching TV. She suggested we play a board game. I asked my body what it wanted and the answer was "movement". So I suggested we play one of our active video games instead. The movement felt great and my mom and I had a great time.

Around 10 pm is a tipping point for me. My body wants to go to bed, my mind wants to stay up and watch TV. This week I found when I listened to my body and went to bed, I felt much better than when I disregarded it and stayed up late. Particularly because the day after staying up late, the answer from my body on what it wanted all day long was "rest".

I definitely found in listening to my body all week that it craves more movement than I typically give it but also more meaningful rest. I want to continue to listen to those messages from my body and practice honoring them.

Yummy Substitutions

I've been on the Specific Carbohydrate Diet (SCD), for a little over 2 weeks. When I tell people that the diet is "no grains, no sugar, no dairy except homemade yogurt and aged cheese", a lot of people are appalled at the restrictiveness. However, I find the food I do eat really tasty. I thought I'd share some of my favorite substitutions:

• Butternut squash fries (instead of potato or sweet potato fries)
• Prosciutto instead of bacon
• Banana bread made with ground almonds (instead of flour)
• Hot chicken wings made with homemade hot sauce of honey, butter, vinegar, paprika, cayenne, salt and pepper (instead of bottled hot sauce)
• Club soda with a lemon wedge (instead of pop)

In general I consider the substitutions I make better for me. While they sometimes have more calories or fat, they also have more nutrition and less processing.

Inspiration in Music

I have a playlist on my iPod called "Strength". If someone were to ask me what is in it my answer would be "inspirational music, music I use to connect to the Divine". What are you imagining? Yoga music? Faith music? Not so much.

Long before I identified as a Buddhist and even before I recognized I was on a spiritual path, I loved certain songs. I grew up listening to country music. But country or pop, I loved music that talked about that perfect love. Which was odd since I didn't really go for that whole perfect romantic love notion.

A couple of years ago, I realized why the songs were speaking to me. For me, that perfect love is that perfect love with the Divine. It's that connection with my inner Buddha.

Now when I listen to those songs, it becomes part of my spiritual practice. Some random examples:

Kelly Clarkson: “You got a piece of me / And honestly, / My life would suck without you”.

Sinead O’Connor: “I was not listening anymore / Still you continued to affect me”.

Jessie Farrell: “Each time you came around I felt a bit lighter / Lost in a sense of something so right”.

Week 1 Challenge - Outside my Comfort Zone

This year I decided to challenge myself to reflect on various Yoga and Buddhist aspects throughout the year. The challenges come from a variety of places including readings in Deborah Adele's Yamas and Niyamas and Thich Nhat Hanh's Heart of the Buddha's Teaching and Happiness.

This week's challenge was to do some things I wouldn't normally do, if possible things I was afraid to do. I found it an interesting challenge. I mostly did it by reflection; I didn't start each day thinking "what will I do for my challenge today" but rather reflected on what I did that was outside the typical.

One of the big things for me this week was that I avoided some procrastination. I definitely tend towards "I'll do that later". A small example is that if I have recycling I will set it on the counter and won't get around to taking it to the recycling bin until much later. This week I made a point of doing more things in the moment (recycling, taking the laundry down, etc). And it felt good to have it done and not adding to my to-do list.

I asked for what I wanted this week. Two friends offered to buy me lunch for various reasons. However, due to the diet I'm on (SCD), eating out is sort of frustrating and a bit boring. My first inclination was to just say no to going out. However, what I really wanted was a raincheck. Normally, this would be something I wouldn't ask for and I know the root of that is fear (not wanting to be an inconvenience). But instead I asked for a raincheck, and it felt great to be honest about what I wanted.

I've been working this week on finding the right time of day for working out. One day I thought I'd work out in the mid-afternoon but that just hasn't been the right time (lack of motivation), so I figured I would skip it that day since I had classes all evening. When my classes were unexpectedly cancelled, I decided to workout in the evening which is definitely not typical. I was glad to get the workout in and it provided me motivation to find a better time to workout (morning).

These are some small ways I've stepped out of my comfort zone this week. I definitely found that doing the unfamiliar wasn't nearly as difficult as it is in my mind. It definitely bolstered my sense of self and helped me to have more authentic relationships with others.

Foiled by Technology

If you've been trying to reach me by phone or text in the last week, I'd like to apologize. Apparently I was receiving neither phone calls (including voicemail) or text messages but my phone showed full service. All is fixed now, but any messages sent during that time might have been lost. Sorry for the inconvenience!

Slowing Down with the Breath

I like this post from Yoga Spy on Pranayama (breath control). I love breathing exercises but, like the writer, stillness does not always come naturally to me.

Pranayama, sleep, and other New Year’s resolutions

Ayurveda - self-analysis

In November, I wrote an Introduction to Ayurveda post. Today, I wanted to share some self-analysis I've done as part of a course I'm taking.

How would you evaluate the proportions of the three Doshas in your own constitution? There are 3 Doshas or energies that make up everything including us. They are Vata (air/ether), Kapha (earth/water) and Pitta (fire/water). I am Kapha, with smaller amounts of Pitta and Vata (in approximately equal proportions). Some of my Kapha traits are a tendency to gain weight, short height, pale skin, low appetite, strong immune system, tendency toward increased mucus/phlegm and towards lethargy and depression. I also possess the Pitta characteristic of a tendency to be argumentative, and the Vata characteristics of being sensitive to cold, wind and dryness and an adaptable and indecisive mental nature. I believe my Kapha is increased due to a tendency towards Kapha-increasing choices over the past decade. My natural constitution is likely a bit more balanced than it appears right now.

How would you evaluate the proportions of the three gunas in your own nature? The gunas represent mental traits of clarity (Sattva), distraction (Rajas) and dullness (Tamas). They reflect development of the soul as we move from Tamas to Rajas and from Rajas to Sattva. I would evaluate myself as primarily rajasic, with some sattvic and tamasic characteristics. Without striving to develop sattva, I have a tendency towards controlling, becoming attached, greed, materialism, and the seeking of comfort and luxury. I also have a tendency towards the tamasic traits of lethargy and depression. When I work on developing sattva, I am calm, peaceful, compassionate and patient.